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21st Anniversary post: The Comparison Game - Joelle's misc
February 17th, 2014
07:43 am
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21st Anniversary post: The Comparison Game
[Originally composed February 2014]

If I could have anything, it would be to abdicate from my species.



The desire to escape the vileness of being human is one which has been with me nearly as far back as my desire to fly, but stayed with me longer and stronger than even that. (Seeing as, upon reaching 11 years of age and finding that I still hadn't sprouted wings, I decided it was time to abandon that hope.) I remember an imagining around the age of 7, in which this ghastly human life proved no more than a vile dream, to be awakened from into the world of 'grassies' and 'buggies' (which my brother and I played with at the time). 'Grassies' did photosynthesis, they didn't need to work, or go to school either! They could play, play forever.

Anyway, that longing has stayed with me for all my days, though the aspect has changed. It was sometime in my early teens when I fully realized that there was no species of animal upon this planet that was not hunted, butchered, eaten, enslaved, experimented upon, harrassed, poisoned, polluted, driven out, or in some way abused by vile humanity. So my yearning to be an animal instead of a horrid human was rejected in those years...though among my heroes still remain those horses who would rather die than be enslaved to mankind.

Hence the chart below, and the game that I have played in my mind for many, many years. (And before I played with avarii and hyarmi, I know I played similar games with elves and dwarves and Vulcans, etc). If I could have ANYTHING, in the full knowledge that nothing I want most will ever be granted me in this life...if I could have anything, what would I rather be?

This chart is a less than two-week truncated summary of the scorecard in my head that has entertained me for many years. Doubtless I will recall a fist-full of items next week which got left out. But it makes me laugh, since I think of my anniversary posts as essays that I try to compose each year, but for my 21st anniversary, here I have an "anniversary spreadsheet" instead!

As a note: I could enter a whole lot more in the column for the Shado's race now, having written 'TFE.' But I wanted this to better represent the contest as it ran for the 15 or so years before writing 'TFE,' during which the Shado's race was never really in the running.


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