What a ghastly month. But I should start with the not-bad first. My fellow Minnesotans were probably quite grateful to not have much snow in March, after surviving February. No surprise big storms, and it wasn't even that windy, for March. Best of all, I got the fourth Geren novel back from my editor in the latter half of the month, and I'm delighted she really enjoyed it. Unfortunately I haven't been able to delve into it much yet.
Nothing to show for an accomplishments list. While I did start an art project that was supposed to be 'quick,' my pc Quartus decided it wanted to take over 90 hours to render a big image, so that will be dragging on into April.
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But art frustrations are just a little icing on a very big cake. Of the two huge decisions that have been looming over me for months...I got an answer to one of them in early March, and it feels like a least-desirable outcome. It leaves me completely strapped for money and bearing an unshakable sense of feeling trapped, since the tiny bit I still have must be saved for moving. Actually, it leaves me stretched on a 'rack' of my own devising. I would have loads of money, more than enough for everything I needed, if I just stopped my giving, or cut it back to a "mere" tithe. But to my conscience, doing that to bail myself out of my current debacle is faithless. It's tantamount to declaring that I don't really trust God to take care of me, so...stretched on a rack of my own devising and longing to escape but unwilling to let go.
Now my objective is preparing to move, but in which direction?
No answers at all there yet, just a wall I can't see past, or plan past. Last year, my focus was on options A, B, and C. But over the course of March I've found D, E, F, G...it goes on. I am a planner and my inability to plan much of anything past the latter part of April is driving me wild. I can't even figure out my packing strategy, since I don't know if I will have an overlap in rental locations as happened with my first two moves, a half-day gap where I have to be out by noon April 30 and can get in somewhere else May 1, or a longer gap than that where I'm 'homeless' for a while (like happened with my 2016 move). Knowing that would help me figure out how to stage my rented storage space (or even what size space I should
have rented) but I don't know anything. Except that noon April 30 is when I'm gone from Gondmar.
Can't forget to mention that April is when I move at my job too, as if there wasn't enough upheaval happening already. I'm getting split up from some coworkers I've worked near for 21 years; not at all thrilled about that.
Time will show if I'll be writing my next monthly summary post from a padded cell! Obviously April will be consumed by preparing to move only-God-knows-where. Accompanied by the fun of having hurt my lower back with such fantastic timing. At least I have a doctor's appointment scheduled for the middle of April, since I seem to be adding new minor health issues on a weekly basis now. As time permits, I'll try to wade into pass 7 with the fourth Geren book, but I don't expect time to permit all that much. Just packing, not having a nervous breakdown, and hopefully getting some direction sometime so I can start looking at places...hopefully
that's the agenda prior to May.